2 October 2009


I've been working on a rather long (and some might say boring) blog about the macho pursuit of competitive chilli eating, but it's a way off from ready, so I thought I'd better dive in and write a sort of interim fix for those of you who just can’t do without their regular dose of braingunk.

This is the first in a recurring theme of blogs I'm going to call: LIFE TIPS 101

I'm not saying you've been living your life wrong or anything… ok well maybe that's exactly what I'm gonna say at some point but stay with me. I've been around a bit and as you who know (if you know me at all), I like my thinking… it's probably my favorite hobby (shit ok maybe my second favorite hobby) and certainly something I feel more people should be doing more of (but that's another blog).

LIFE TIPS then…. I’m asking for your trust, I'm hoping you'll understand the very complex intent of what I'm doing here and play along for a while (even if you don’t)… at least until you've had a good chance to decide if what I have to say are words of pure clarity and wisdom (which of course they are) or complete shit… at which point you can carry on as normal, no harm done. So trust me and play along, it'll be fun.

Anyway, here's the deal… follow the ideas laid out in LIFE TIPS 101 and I'm totally convinced that you'll not only have some fun, improve your life, but also through a butterfly effect of complex interactions, improve the whole fucking world… are you with me? It’s easy. Some TIPS might seem random, some might even seem darn right nonsensical… but trust me… please. Let LIFE TIPS 101 into your heart and I swear you'll never look back.

So here they are, your very first set of three LIFE TIPS (which always come in threes… except when they don’t).

Number 1: Seek out and buy "Out of The Blue" by ELO on vinyl (buy it on CD as well or download it if you don’t own a record player and want to listen to it, but you must find and purchase it in it’s original vinyl format… this is very important).

Number 2: Stop buying processed fish products from supermarkets ( a tough one for some people but essential). Don’t stop buying and eating fish, that’s not what this tip is about… it’s just processed fish products and specifically from supermarkets, that’s all.

Number 3: Tell someone whom you love… that you love them… in the next 20 minutes. (sending email, txt message or by phone is acceptable). If you are in the unfortunate situation of not having anyone in your life that you honestly do love… then tell me you love me, I am quite lovable and I'm a happy surrogate until your life situation changes (which it will if you follow LIFE TIPS 101).

And that's it. Three little things for you to focus on. Three little things that will improve your life. Nail them in any order you please and keep watching for the next set of LIFE TIPS. I swear on my liver and a stack whichever Holy books take your fancy, that you'll smile up to 7% more often and that you'll have taken the first step to a better life… trust me… no seriously.