29 October 2009

White Elephant

One of the things you start to realize as you get older is how much junk you've managed to collect over the years. All the little things you've bought or collected in some vain attempt to find happiness, suddenly just start looking like massive piles of pointless junk… especially when you have to move house and take it all with you.

I've already done one massive downsize in my life when my marriage exploded around my ears (another blog on that later methinks) and yet I still hold onto an amazing array of crap, supposedly for sentimental reasons.

Probably the single biggest space vampire is my record collection. I literally have thousands of the buggers. Some of them have taken over my wardrobe completely, filling it to the point where there is no longer any room left for clothes. The shelves in my lounge groan under their combined weight. Boxes of them litter my home, creating eye sores and tripping hazards at every turn. I never play them, I hardly ever even look at them and it is very unlikely that I ever will.

Then get rid of them I hear you cry… but how?

Dump them? They literally stand me in thousands of pounds and the one thing I really can't stand is waste, so I doubt I'll be able to bring myself to just dump them.

Stick them on ebay then? As a job lot it is extremely unlikely that I'd ever find a buyer. It would need a small truck to deliver them and the postage alone would be more than anyone would be willing to pay, so this too looks to be an unlikely method of disposing of them.

Sell them individually then? That would require an immense amount of work, sorting, cataloguing, pricing, photographing etc, not to mention the long and potentially pointless process of actually creating ebay adverts for each of them, in the face of the very real possibility that none of them to actually sell.

I even tried giving them away once. I thought "well they're not enriching my life any more maybe they can enrich someone else's". I put out an advert on facebook marketplace offering for just the price of the postage any record from my collection that anyone wanted… I got three takers and rather than request something they all simply wanted a complete list of my records (something that only exists in my head), which for some reason they all found extremely odd.

No, it would seem that they are here to stay until I either die and it becomes someone else's problem or I can think of something else to do with them.

I cannot dump them, I cannot sell them, I cannot (it would seem ) even give them away… they truly are a proverbial white elephant… except they weigh much, much more.